A Famous Midriff

I write posts about things below 14th street in Manhattan because:

#1 I love downtown Manhattan and the stories you find are never ending and almost always entertaining.

#2 I´m too lazy to go uptown (i.e. why hop on a subway or, worse, pay a cab ride when Magnolia´s Cupcakes and 16 Handles are downtown?)

#3 If I´m lazy about going uptown, what makes you think I would go to a different borough?

#4 I HATE MIDTOWN.

There is something about midtown Manhattan that makes me cringe. In terms of structure, midtown follows the grid system. However, it is perhaps the most disorganized area in the island. It´s always packed with people that I don´t understand if they live there, if they work there or if they´re visiting.

Midtown is like the midriff that no one wants to show. Uptown would be the pretty face that people want to see and downtown, well downtown, is where all the action would be happening. Midtown lacks the glamour of uptown Manhattan and the coolness of the downtown area. It doesn´t really have a set personality. And in Manhattan, I´m sorry, personality is a must.

Times Square, a signature area of midtown Manhattan, has personality. But Times Square has the propensity of giving someone a heart attack if not visited with caution.

I understand Times Square is pretty much the New York you see in movies and lights flashing 24/7 and Hershey´s Kisses the size of my apartment buildings can be mesmerizing. But when you are living in New York, a picturesque, quiet block in the West Village with one light post at the end of the street and normal size houses sounds so much more attracting.

With Vovo, my grandmother, visiting this past week, we couldn´t skip a Broadway trip. We went to see In the Heights (obviously--latins and latins and latins and Inwood Heights) in the rainiest day of the week. Picture me walking through Times Square with an umbrella that kept flipping over, carrying my huge purse, my heavy camera which I couldn´t even use because of the rain and my grandmothers´ shopping bags. Plenty of them.

Vovo couldn´t have been happier-- “So much life! So many lights! This right here is why I like coming to NY!” Jeez, thanks Vo. Meanwhile, I was hyperventilating. Between the men selling bells that say I (heart) NY (the bell doesn´t work), the one selling little representations of the Statue of Liberty (most of them are missing the torch) and hundreds of people walking with colorful plastic ponchos (never wear a poncho it makes you look ridiculous) I was close to losing it.

Then something happened.

As Vo and I waited for the light stop to change a black limousine stopped right in front of us. Dressed in a blue dress, with beautiful diamond earrings, out comes Judith Dench from the limousine. The light changed and people crossed the street. I remained stupefied. What the hell was Judith Dench doing in the middle of Times Square at 10 p.m on a rainy Friday? She stood in a corner with her friends smoking and pointing towards the blinding lights and I could read her lips saying “yes, this is just marvelous.” Let it be known that she could have either be referring to the light of the sign promoting Chicago or the yellow and red neon lights of McDonalds. Finally, some people recognized her and without shame were blatantly starring at her.

Drenched from head to toe I was just laughing on the inside about the entire scene. Judith Dench or not, I still hate midtown.